You met, you dated, you got married, and eventually, you had children. But things didn’t work out the way you thought they would, and now you’re divorcing. Divorce isn’t easy, and it gets tougher when you factor in the kids. If you’re planning on seeing a divorce lawyer or a family lawyer in North Vancouver, you probably already know that you’re going to have to put your kids first.
Even though your relationship didn’t work out, now is the time more than ever to be mature and to think of the kids. Any family lawyer in North Vancouver would agree. Check out these tips for divorcing when you have children.
7 Tips For Divorcing Parents With Children
1. Have The Conversation With Your Kids
Kids are very intuitive and catch on to a lot. You may think that they don’t know that you’re divorcing, but chances are if they’re a little older, they’ve likely figured it out already and been expecting it for a long time coming. It can be a difficult talk, but explain to your kids that you’re divorcing and what that will mean. Answer their questions and be extremely reassuring – this can really be tough news for kids to hear.
2. Agree To Co-Parent
Just because you’re divorcing doesn’t mean you’re out of each other’s lives. The nature of your relationship may change, but you still are parents of the children together and have to share them. Agreeing to put the priority on co-parenting instead of bickering is a proactive choice that truly puts the kids first.
3. Don’t Be Petty
The best way to divorce when you have children is to do so with no animosity. Too many couples become extremely petty and become obsessed with trying to hurt the other one or gain the most in the settlement. Remain mature. This is about separating, not vengeance.
4. Don’t Overcompensate
One of the worst things divorced parents can do is totally cater to their kids. Overcompensating frequently happens – the kids get more games, more toys, more outings, more stuff. Opening your wallet won’t change the facts. Avoid spoiling your kids and focus on being a loving parent that continues to set limits. They need a parent more than a friend now more than ever.
5. Be Real
Don’t force a happy face. Your kids will see right through it. Be honest about how you’re feeling and don’t try to pretend like everything’s fine if it’s not. Being real about this transition can be more reassuring to your kids than acting like nothing’s happening.
6. Agree to Stop Fighting
Whether it’s fighting on the phone or fighting in person, arguing causes a lot of tension. If your kids are hearing you shout on the phone, they likely will have a good idea about what’s going on.
7. Let Them Resume A Normal Life
Even if you and your spouse are living apart, make an effort to return your kids’ lives back to normal. Let them have slumber parties and encourage them to do their homework and do well in school. Do all the things you normally do and they’ll be saved from a lot of unnecessary stress. Their parents are already divorcing; try to keep everything else the same, too.
Your family lawyer in North Vancouver will likely encourage you to be cordial as well. Consulting a divorce lawyer to end your marriage can be tough enough, and divorcing with children is even more challenging. But with a little effort, you can make this life transition as smooth as possible – for you and the kids.